Grieving Week

i told everyone in the house that i'm in my grieving session.. that sure excuse me from doing lots of things! haha. i didn't know having a broken heart has its own perks. mom tries her very hard to understand my situation although at times she just wish i could get over it and help her to do things around the house. then i give the excuse, sorry ma. i'm in my grieving week and she stops asking things done. i don't feel very guilty though cos right now, i have no heart to do anything. i sleep at 3-4 a.m. in the morning, and i wake 12 hours later. does anyone wake me up? nil. nada. imagine doing the same thing at your in-laws. hahaha. that's two haha now. maybe i'm getting better. maybe i have stopped grieving. maybe. but the memories? sure as hell kill me off sometimes. i should at least get 6 years of grieving sessions what.. i deserve it, isn't it? well not really bcos i would have missed a lot of opportunities that come in front of me. and i neglect to see it bcos of my stupid grieving sessions and whatnot. well, after the last time we saw each other, embrace the not so bright future that's going to happen if we decided to run away or anything, i start to inhale my breath better now. i have stopped crying for a few days already. no more sad songs that remind me of him going in circle for the whole day non-stop. i miss him a lot. of course i do. yesterday we sms each other and i found out that he was crying for us. i felt sad too. it's not like both of us wanted this shit to happen but well, forces of circumstances. sometimes you had to decide things depending on the forces of circumstances. even though both of us suffer from it. maybe, maybe one day god will reunite us again. and the next time we happen to be together, we might appreciate our relationship better than we used to. insyallah.. amin..pardon me on my grammatical errors. i'm in my grieving session, remember? *wink*

i have gotten an offer from a real estate agency last two weeks. i came for the interview and the boss straightaway wanted to hire me. not being cocky or anything, but i decided to give feedback at the end of this month and he agreed with my time frame. well what do u expect? it wasn't like i thought i could get it easily. so i really didn't expect the boss to offer me straightaway. why real estate even when my degree saying something else? well.. right now, all i want is to get lots and lots of money. the commission for a real estate negotiator is superb i tell u. but then u have to be very smart, very hardworking and also have the people-skill to be a good negotiator. i might have little knowledge in this field but the company offers two days of training that i believe will sharpen my skills and knowledge. the important thing is, u want this or not. and i want this so bad so that i can repay all the kindness that everyone has given me throughout this 24 years i've been living. however, i won't get basic salary because it all depend on the commissions. maybe the first month is like a training to me but i'm sure that i could do better the next month. well the commission works like this, if i manage to sell a rm200k house, i will get 2% from the price which is rm4k. then, the company will get 40% from the 2k, while the balance is mine which is rm2400. imagine, if the house is rm500k and above? and imagine again if i manage to close deal more than 2 houses? wouldn't i be shopping grandly at the end of the month? =) so if someone wants to rent the house, then i will get the renting price. if for instance the apartment is rm850 monthly, then i will get 60% from the rm850 for the success of closing the deal. i sure need a calculator after this. 

to be truth, there's another job that i have applied but i haven't hear anything from them. so i think, i just work my ass off for this job that is right in front of my head and see how it goes. if i don't like it i can stop on 24hours notice so it's no big deal. but i don't believe in giving up so much so i will try my very best for it. wish me luck alright~ 

it's almost three a.m. time sure flies fast when u stop having things to look forward. i need to wake up early tomorrow to accompany my sis to jb to buy some stuff. so lazy to wake up. urgh.